20 Strategies to Prioritize Your Most Important Work
My desk, after a recent advertising campaign where I worked furiously while neglecting most important things in life
Sometimes I feel the “need” to stay very busy.
Busyness always seems logical at the time, but in reality, it’s more of an addiction. It’s compulsive.
In moments where other people are resting (and, one might assume, enjoying life), I feel the swell of an urge to “get things done.”
I want to win.
I tell myself things like:
If I want that life, then I need to work this hard. Don’t be lazy!
Just a few more things, and then I’ll be able to relax. I’m so close!
My mind is so active, I wouldn’t be able to rest anyway. I might as well...
I need to get this done so that I can get that done. I don’t want to fall behind...
Everyone else seems so productive. What’s wrong with me that I can’t keep up? Oh, well. Keep pushing…
And the next thing I know, I’m giving up precious practices that restore my energy in order to get just one more thing done.
At times like this, I am reminded of the connection between the words business and busyness.
Why does being a ‘productive person’ have to mean so much rushing around?
In his book The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry: How to Stay Emotionally Healthy and Spiritually Alive in the Chaos of the Modern World, the author writes:
“Hurry and love are incompatible. All my worst moments as a father, a husband, and a pastor, even as a human being, are when I’m in a hurry.”
Frazzled, stressed, overwhelmed — we don’t treat ourselves or anyone else in a way we feel good about.
The Antidote: Respecting Big Rocks
You may have heard the analogy of the rocks, the pebbles, and the sand.
If you try to fill a jar first with sand, then with pebbles, and then finally with big rocks — there won’t be enough room left over at the end for the rocks.
If you prioritize differently and first put in big rocks, then pebbles, and lastly sand — it will work out much better. The big rocks take up whatever space they need, then pebbles fill in around the big rocks, and then the sand fills all the other spaces in between.
The sand is the endless list of tiny to-do’s that eat up our time and energy, without giving much in return.
It’s checking email, and scheduling conversations, and watching TV.
Sand makes no progress on big goals.
Sand steals time from relationships with people and activities we love.
Sand leaves us exhausted, while still thinking, “What did I even do today?”
A life filled with sand is death by a thousand paper cuts.
It’s too much and not enough, all at the same time.
Big rocks give us momentum toward our wildest dreams.
Big rocks fulfill our potential on this planet.
Big rocks feed our soul, expand our limits, and contribute to the community.
Living in alignment with our big rocks feels meaningful and rewarding, even when it is hard.
We push the boundaries of our comfort zone and grow exponentially when we learn to say “no” to the little stuff that most definitely can wait.
After about two weeks of running myself ragged, I finally said, “Enough is enough!” and returned to making time for the big-rock self-care practices that got me to the success I was enjoying in the first place.
I also re-prioritized activities where I was able to give back and add real value to others’ lives.
The question is: What are your big rocks?
6 Opportunities for Journaling and Self-Reflection
What are the activities that fill up your gas tank so that you can return to work feeling refreshed and even more productive?
When you think about allowing space for your heart and soul to expand, what comes to mind?
How can you treat your body like the companion you will have for the rest of your life?
“What is one promise that, if you could keep it, would change your whole life?” — Laura Handel Zander
What is one thing you could do in the morning that would make the rest of the day so much easier and more enjoyable?
Which relationships nourish you most, and how can you nourish them in return?
20 Strategies for Prioritizing Your Big Rocks
You can pick and choose a couple strategies that you might like to experiment with.
Make a really small goal for your one big rock. Pick one activity that you will complete for 10 to 15 minutes per day
Block out the time on your calendar. Protect it like it’s sacred (because it is)
Tell loved ones about your intentions. Encourage them to encourage you
Make taking care of yourself a secret that you see how long you can keep acting on, without anyone finding out
Find an accountability buddy — someone who wants to prioritize one of their big rocks. Check in with each other regularly about how it’s going. Celebrate and problem-solve together
Join a support group or club that’s focused on making this big rock happen
Read a book on your chosen topic
Write affirmations about your goal on sticky notes and put then places where you’ll see them throughout the day
Do it first thing in the morning so that nothing else gets in your way
Do it in the afternoon in order to reset your day in a good way
Do it last thing at night as a reward to yourself for giving so much to others
Deny yourself an indulgence (Netflix, wine, checking email) until you’ve followed through with your big rock
Watch inspirational YouTube videos on your chosen topic
Set up lots of small rejuvenating rewards — especially in the beginning — to reinforce your positive momentum
Write down your goal and look at it every day
Hang out with people who are already doing what you want to do. Pick their brains
Write yourself a letter to yourself from your future self, telling yourself you know you can do it because it’s already done
Write yourself a letter from your Higher Power explaining how you taking care of yourself fits in with a greater plan for the purpose of your life
Make a collage so you can visualize your best self — the one who keeps this promise, and what her life looks like
Put an X or a ❤️ on the calendar every time you prioritize one of your big rocks, and watch your success add up over time
Does your life feel like you’re drowning in sand?
I help women like you to:
Discover and prioritize your big rocks
Discern what the small stuff is, and cultivate the courage and strength to say “no” to people-pleasing and perfectionism
Manage the fear of success so you can take bold action toward a truly fulfilling life