You want to make sure everyone is happy and comfortable.

You walk on eggshells for people you love, but also for people you don’t even care that much about — your boss, the stranger at the grocery store, and your judgmental aunt Jane. 

Your schedule is packed, and you’re on emotional overload.

You put in so much time and energy trying to make sure everyone else is okay.

But no matter what you do, it’s never good enough for them. 

You’re totally burned out.

Your soul is crying out for fun and relaxation. 

You’ve reached a breaking point where you know you cannot keep giving away all of yourself until there’s nothing left at the end of the day.

You’ve gotten pretty good at accepting second-best.

It’s easier to stay quiet and focus on what everyone else wants than to think about what might be truly fulfilling for you. 

You try to tame the chaos going on all around you because you have no idea how to approach the chaos going on inside of you.

You control, and try to make everything look perfect, because there’s too much uncertainty and fear at the center of your anxiety and overwhelm. 

You’re frustrated with how out of control life feels.

It’s like you’re always in Reaction Mode: panicking, putting out fires, responding to everyone else’s emergencies — never having any time to yourself.

Never taking time for deep soul exploration. For giving your heart what it truly craves: space to breathe and stretch and relax.

You want to start to explore what feels good to you, but you’re worried that would be too “selfish.” 

And besides — if you don’t do everything, then who will?

You’re the only one who knows how to do it right! 

You may have a sense that wearing the “I’m fine” mask and the Superwoman cape is not working for you, but you can’t imagine another way to live.

You see it as your life raft — your only chance to be accepted by others.

In reality, the weight of the mask is threatening to drown you. 

If I had any time, money, or energy to give —

then I “should” give it!

I didn’t think I had a right to relax and be happy.

If there was suffering in the world, then it was “selfish” to enjoy myself. 

I grew up in the role of The Family Hero. I was supposed to make everyone happy by being a ray of sunshine in a dark world.

I wasn’t really ‘allowed’ to have darkness within myself. Everyone agreed to ignore my emotional upset and hope it went away.

…but… no surprise… The unacknowledged feelings didn’t go away. They grew and grew until I was engulfed in anxiety, depression, and — ultimately  — addiction. 

For me, addiction was another way of people-pleasing. If I couldn’t be happy, productive, and conversational enough on my own — well, a drink or a drug could help with that! 

I found self-esteem and self-respect when I accepted some key ideas: 

• It’s not your job to save the world. 

• How other people feel actually has very little to do with you. 

• You give your best gifts to the world when you are well-rested. 

• Good relationships are mutually supportive and empowering.

• You teach other people how to treat you.

• If you don’t take care of yourself, no one will do it for you.

• You don’t have to “do,” “accomplish,” or “achieve” anything to be worthy of happiness.

  You are perfectly worthy as you are.

I want to help you learn to strike a balance between caring for yourself and caring for others.

This is important, because only when you learn to care for yourself first, will you consistently have enough to give to others. 

You can develop healthy habits, instead of turning to quick fixes that just leave you feeling guilty and defeated. (I’m looking at you, ice cream.)

It has been hard for you to follow through with your resolutions in the past because you don’t see yourself as someone worthy of being taken care of. 

The solution to this is adjusting your view so that you don’t judge yourself as “selfish” for taking whatever time and space you need to recharge. This is how to build self-worth, which gives you more energy and motivation in all areas of your life. 

You’ve been trying to be totally independent and do it all on your own, which is really just keeping you from taking the journey.

The obsession with perfection is holding you back. 

You could develop the bravery to be imperfect. To be real. To love yourself not in spite of your mistakes and flaws, but because of them.

You could learn to focus on the things that really matter —

not the ‘perfect body,’ the ‘perfect house,’ and the ‘picture-perfect family,’ but

speaking your heart, surfing uncertainty, forgiving yourself, and finding your fulfillment. 

This will allow you to calm your worry so that you can experience peace and joy in the present moment. 

Most women in your shoes don’t even realize when they’re starting to get overloaded until it’s too late —

In other words, when they’re most of the way through a box of donuts, a bottle of wine, or a heated argument. 

That’s why it’s important to learn a process for identifying your needs and setting clear boundaries.

• Slow down and tune in enough to notice when you are feeling exhausted and resentful.

• Be kind to yourself and validate that your feelings are important.

• Practice asking for help.

• Give yourself space to breathe and heal in your own time.

• Tune in to your intuition to see what would feel truly fulfilling. What does your heart most want?

• Set limits without guilt against things that don’t nourish you.

• Cultivate the courage to follow your newfound clarity with action.

• Live a life that aligns with your highest values.

I want to walk with you every step of the way until you feel confident about how to set up your relationships for success.

You might be waiting for someone else to save you —

the way you’ve been saving them for so long.

This could be your opportunity to save yourself.

Don’t put it off any longer.

Self-care is a radical act of kindness

that you are so worthy of receiving. 

Counseling is nourishing because it’s all about getting you reconnected to who you really are and what you really want.

Give your heart the attention it has been craving.

It’s speaking to you, even right now.

I can help you learn to listen. 

Call me now or click here to schedule your free 20-minute consult.